Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety can affect children at various ages, not just when they are very young.

Some children find it extremely difficult being away from their parent or other carer and this can be highlight when they start school.

It is often a fear that either something will happen to the child when away from their parent, or that something may happen to the parent when the child is away from them. These fears can be very real and can stop them taking part in activities that their friends are doing.

If this affects your child then it can be very distressing, however you are not alone with an estimated 1 in 20 children having an anxiety problem that gets in the way of their daily lives. What causes anxiety? Anxiety can be caused by a number of things, with the most common being genetics and inherited characteristics as well as experiences.

Our children not only inherit our looks but some of our psychological characteristics too, this could be our temper, how laid back we are as well as how we respond to things and anxiety too can be inherited.

Children also learn by example and observe those around them to learn how to do things and how to behave.

Researchers have shown that those children more prone to anxiety pay particular attention to the reactions of those around them and can be more influenced by this than more laid-back children. How to help your child When your child suffers from anxiety, you may feel the best thing to do is avoid the situation which distresses them, and while this may solve the problem initially, it can result in making their anxiety even worse as they aren’t able to deal with the issue that causes the problem.

Separation anxiety can be difficult and distressing, particularly when it happens at the school gates in front of their friends and parents. Often the teacher has dealt with separation anxiety before and may be able to help take your child into school quickly to help ease the situation and distract them once inside.

If it is becoming a real issue, then it is worth talking with your child’s teacher as there are other things that can be done to help.

With any sort of anxiety, a good approach is to break down the anxiety into steps and work on one step at a time. You may be able to take your child in a little earlier than other children, which may help initially, or your child’s teacher may be able to find them a job to do when they are in the classroom, which may help distract them. Once your child has become comfortable with the first step, more to another step – so if they are going in early then maybe take them in at the right time, but maybe you can take them through a different door, keep working on steps to help your child to overcome their original fear.

It can take quite a few months to overcome but stick with it and it will get easier. You may also find rewarding your child can help, so each step they achieve, they get a little reward until they manage to overcome their fears.

Source: Helping your child with fears and worries by Cathy Cresswell and Lucy Willetts.

Separation anxiety can affect children at various ages, not just when they are very young.

Some children find it extremely difficult...